[he]aling

and it don't stop
my world rocked
but time keeps going
keeps ticking
i clock hours
when i should be home on my knees
but i can't pray
can't cry
exist i
a body and a voice
no feeling
with nothing to say
rub my shoulders into cushions
my house is empty
and my hands are full
the only thing big enough to carry this weight
i dole out in pieces
myself all over it
scotch guarded in my restlessness
i could tip over
[it]i could break
[down]i could hide
[forever] i could run
could loose my breath
til my heads light
and the weights gone
but i catch it every time
and i'm back numb
and heavier than ever
drag myself back to reality (home)
see what time it is
what time i let pass
see if my healing is home
waiting for me
the streetlights are on
and i hear my name
i round that corner
then another
and another
my healing ain't there
he must be somewhere playing with time
i keep missing him
maybe i'll wait up for him
he might show up
in the morning.